DEvLOp

Today, I have a phone interview for one of the most amazing job opportunities I’ve received thus far in my life: a paid PBS summer creative services internship at Washington DC headquarters. Needless to say, I’m pretty damn nervous. But in all honesty, I think this is a way better fit than the local news station internship I’ve already landed. I’m not meant for small town gigs. I’m bigger than that. And I’m ready for it. I’ll be out of college in 7 months and I think this internship is just the boost I need to be successful in the field I wish to pursue. But first… I need to nail this interview. Wish me luck.

Successful. I just want to be successful in whatever I do.

I’ve had a lot of these.

The one that sticks out the most for me isn’t really “a moment”. It was a series of moments that stretched over a few months. It was my days working at Carowinds. I was the happiest I’d ever been the summer of 2010 and I wanted it to go on forever. I loved where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing. I can’t explain why. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to. In the back of my mind, I was always at least a tiny bit aware that it was just a summer job and that it was going to end. But it didn’t really phase me. It just fit. It all just fit.

Aries ….. Well let’s take a look.

“Aries subjects are courageous leaders with a genuine concern for those they command, being responsible people, blah blah blah. They do not make very good followers because they are too “take charge”. They may be unwilling to obey or submit to directions for which they can see no reason, or with which they disagree. They are much concerned with self, both positively and negatively - self-reliant but also self centered (sometimes) and concerned with their own personal advancement and physical satisfaction. Their immense energy makes them aggressive and restless, argumentative occasionally, headstrong, quick tempered, easily offended and capable of holding grudges if they feel themselves affronted.

In your personal relationships Arians are frank, direct and candid, and make enthusiastic and generous friends. You are liable to have a high sex drive and make passionate but fastidious lovers. There is, however, a negative side to your associations with other people. You can easily be irritated by slowness or moderation in your companions and, though yourselves sensitive, ride roughshod over the sensitivities of others blah blah blah. The intensity of your sexual urges can drive you to promiscuity and a Don Juan-like counting of conquests of the opposite sex. It can also trick you into early unwise marriage which may end disastrously. Arians are highly devoted to their children, even to the point of laying down their own lives, so that they might live. You will not find a more defensive and loving parent in all the zodiac.”

Welp… I was sold on it until they more or less called me a slut (“The intensity of your sexual urges can drive you to promiscuity and a Don Juan-like counting of conquests of the opposite sex.”) and selfish (“also self centered [sometimes] and concerned with their own personal advancement and physical satisfaction”)  I am turned on around 95% of the time but, contrairey to popular belief, I have self control. And I can be very wrapped up in my own world but I like to think I’m never concerned with JUST my own personal gains. Also, I’m not as outwardly brash and courageous I’d like to be. I’m very picky choosey when it comes to when I should speak out and when I should let things go. But maybe this is just all subjectivity.

oh geez… my “interesting” and someone else’s “interesting” are two completely different things.

1) I’ve been playing guitar since I was 8, however, have not improved since I was 14.

2) I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a penis.

3) I really like having green eyes. A lot.

4) I think school is a waste of time yet I still strive to get a 4.0 every semester.

5) I’d rather live near mountains than a beach.

6) My favorite holiday is the 4th of July.

7) I remember at least one of my dreams every single night.

8) I like all of my vegetables cooked except for carrots. I despise cooked carrots.

9) My favorite job so far was working at an amusement park.

10) I’d rather watch as they take my blood than turn away. Gotta make sure they’re doing it right :P

11) I still get scared of the dark sometimes.

12) I don’t want to be a photographer.

13) I was born with a crooked leg and had to wear a cast and special shoes for the first year of my life.

14) I’d rather have a son than a daughter.

15) My favorite number is 8.

16) I hate wearing nail polish.

17) I wear Chucks basically every single day.

18) Speaking of Chucks, I own roughly 18 pairs.

19) I have an unhealthy sweet tooth.

20) I have an obsession with the night sky.

21) I hate romantic comedies.

22) I love heights.

23) My initials are “S.A.D.” …. :(

24) I  was born in Maryland during a snow storm (in April).

25) I wish I could dance. Dear god, do I wish I could dance.

26) My favorite color is blue.

27) I’m running out of interesting facts.

28) I should probably do my homework.

29) I ate toast this morning.

30) Cactus.

I guess I’ll end on this one for today.

This is kind of what I hate about Tumblr. It mostly seems like its entire purpose, to a lot of people, is to throw massive, cyber pity-parties. And I’m not about to do that. I can speak about it matter-of-factly, but that’s about it. Because it happened to me, it’s over, and I moved on. I’m not about to fit myself into that realm of angsty adolescents. 

So I’ll just tell you it happened. I thought about it. I brainstormed different methods to do it. And I pulled myself out of the dark hole I buried myself in and grew as a person.

It’s simple, really. I don’t care what you do, who you worship, where you practice, what your beliefs are, etc. Just please, for the sake of all that keeps me sane in the world, don’t try to shove it down my throat. And that even goes for atheism. You know what? That goes for ANY belief at all. We’re all entitled to our own opinions and I’d be more than happy to engage in a thought provoking discussion. But the minute you try and tell me that I’m wrong and you’re right, I’m going to get more than a little annoyed. I mean, seriously. What do you care if I’m going to hell or not? Don’t try to “save me”.

Use them both responsibly. For serious. I don’t care if you do them, just don’t lose your mind in the process. Unless you want to try heroin or meth. Then I’m not okay with it. Shit’ll fuck you up!

Well, I fail. Now I have to do like a week’s worth :P

10 years? Holy balls. I’ll be 32… I can see myself living just outside of a large city, very stable in a career, with between 2 - 3 pets, half way done building my dream house, and of course, with the person I love. Not sure about kids yet. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. It’ll be a simply life, yet still an awesome one.